


You Keep Me Sane

by genneel



Category: All Time Low
Genre: Friendship, Gen, M/M, Moving On, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 01:02:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6032455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genneel/pseuds/genneel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rian watched Alex fall in love with Lisa over and over again, and he'd be lying if he said that it didn't hurt like hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Keep Me Sane

Rian watched Alex fall in love with Lisa over and over again, and he'd be lying if he said that it didn't hurt like hell. He loved Alex intensely, but he didn't want to jeopardize their friendship so he also loved him silently. No one knew and no one even suspected. It was better that way, Rian thought. He thought that it would be easier if he was the only person who knew about his feelings for his best friend.

When Alex told Rian that he was planning on proposing to Lisa, his heart dropped, but he still smiled and gave his blessings and encouragements. They went out to a bar that night, drinking celebratory drinks and telling stories about their youth. In truth, Rian was terrified. He felt like his future was behind him, like time was passing by too quickly. All of his friends were settling down, and he'd been stuck in the same position for the last decade. It made Rian wonder if the best days of his life had fleeted him, if he was trapped in an endless cycle of monotony and desperation for something more. He drank his weight that night, taking an Uber home and crying into his pillow until he fell asleep.

He dreaded the day of the wedding, but it came. Rian gave a heartwarming speech, and he hugged Alex and Lisa afterwards, wishing them the best and meaning what he said. They were two of his closest friends, and that's what made it hard. He loved Alex, in more ways than friendly, and he loved Lisa like she was his sister. They deserved to be happy together, and Rian knew that. He just wished that the knots in his stomach would go away and that he could breathe a full breath without wanting to scream.

There was plenty of alcohol at the reception, which Rian took advantage of, and at the end of the day he made out with Jack in a closet full of coats, pretending that he was someone else.

For two full weeks after the wedding, Rian was silent. He still took care of himself, still responded to emails and tweets, but he was verbally silent. Alex and Lisa were on their honeymoon, Zack was in Hawaii with Lydia, and Cassadee was touring, so Rian was idealistically left to himself, but that's not exactly the way things turned out. Jack visited daily, even though he had his own friends to hang out with and his own house to hang out _in_. They never talked, though. Jack usually just sat down with Rian and kept him company. He didn't say anything to him, but Rian knew that he was aware of his feelings for Alex and that he was struggling to cope with his marriage. However, he didn't mention it, just watched football and shitty made-for-TV movies with him, which Rian was grateful for.

The band went back on tour after a month, and Jack made it a point to be close to Rian at all times. He didn't go out to party nearly as much, often opting for lying with Rian in the back lounge of the tour bus and playing video games.

"Hey, Jack?" Rian asked one evening, prompting Jack to turn his head towards him and raise an eyebrow. They usually didn't talk, and it was out of the ordinary for Rian to initiate conversation. "You know that I'm okay, right? You don't need to babysit me."

"I know," came Jack's reply, soft and with care. "I like hanging out with you."

That was it. They didn't talk about it again. Even as the years went by, Jack was glued by Rian's side. They were friends in the purest of ways. There was no romantic ulterior motive to their friendship. It was refreshing and good and _theirs_.

Eventually, it didn't hurt Rian to hear Alex's name anymore. Jack helped him move on and find his own purpose and peace in the world. He could smile at the sight of Alex and Lisa together, breaths coming out evenly and effortless. He was finally content with the state of his life.


End file.
